Friday, December 13, 2013

44-57 "Why are you eating cheese out of a bag?"

44. You're roommate tells you you have something on the side of your face. After some debate you conclude that it was a string of melted cheese from a meal you had awhile ago...

45. This conversation has happened:

         Friend: I was wondering today at what point day starts

         Me: Hanging?

         Friend: You know. When it folds over.

         Me: When day folds over?

         Friend: Oh. Autocorrect. Fat. Not day. When fat folds over.

46. Your friends have documented the fact that you have liked the Grilled Cheese Admiration Society on Facebook

47. You come out of Walmart and see in your reflection that you have a sprinkle from your donut stuck to your cheek.

48. Your friends joke about increasing their caloric intake before coming out to visit you so their body doesn't go into shock from the copious amounts of food they anticipate eating.

49. You pull your cell phone out of your purse and there are gummy bears stuck to the screen.

50. You have eaten two zebra cakes in three bites and 10 seconds.

51. You have sat post dinner, in physical pain, on the verge of losing your meal because you are so stuffed, and still, you longed for more.

52. When it comes to cake, you believe in 3rd and 4th servings minimum.

53. After staring at an empty Popeyes container, you swear to yourself "Not again". And again the next day. And the next day...

54. You lose your normally polite demeanor when Tasty Burger tells you their shake machine is broken on an after midnight run.

55. You then proceed to drive across town to the next Tasty Burger is search of shake. All is lost when you learn their machine is broken too.

56. Not being able to find a parking spot is the perfect excuse to go to Tasty Burger.

57. Roommate: Why are you eating cheese out of a bag?
      Me: [stares] Why wouldn't I be eating cheese out of a bag?

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